The Perfect Family –
I was chatting with some moms the other day listening to their stories about the challenges they were having with their husbands and kids, when all of a sudden the thought struck me – I HAVE THE PERFECT FAMILY! Now you may be thinking, “she is awfully bold in making such a statement,” but hear me out on this one – If you came to my home and passed by my daughters cluttered room, saw the dirty dishes in the sink and heard the 4 year old pitching a fit from the back room you might wonder about my idea of perfect. After all isn’t perfect without flaw, faultless? Not in my house it isn’t, perfect around here is the process and the people God is using to help us to look, act and think more like He does. Romans 12:1-2 says, “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” The perfect will of God, well my family is the perfect will of God for me and my life.
For example – when one of my daughters was two there was something in my heart that began to react in anger to the circumstances and situations around me and I could see the reflection of this anger in her heart as well. I finally came to the conclusion that I could not penetrate her heart without first dealing with my own. God used this most amazing two-year-old to help me confront my anger, deal with it, leave it at the feet of Jesus and learn to walk in healing and forgiveness. It took time, prayer, petition and great humility for me to realize that the problem was in me – I was the one with an anger issue and she was my little mirror. Walking out the next 4 years was challenging and humbling but by the time she had turned 6 both our lives were free from the stronghold of anger and a grace and delight encompassed our relationship with each other. I tell people, “Of all the people I know she gives me more grace than others because we both had to learn to receive God’s grace to overcome the anger in our hearts.”
When my daughters approached adolescence the fear that their lives would look like mine during those formative years began to grip my heart. My parents divorced when I turned 12 and I remember the loneliness, the emptiness, the feeling of having no place where I belonged and the road those feelings led to when I left for college. I was fearful their lives would be a reflection of my wrong choices and I wanted so desperately to keep them from the heartache and grief I had experienced. As we began to walk the road to adulthood God gave me a new picture of His plan for their lives and the sense of well-being that each of them would gain their confidence from their identity in Him and that it would shape the person they were becoming. God took my broken years and past and through prayer and hard work he made something new and wonderful for my daughters – it became clear to me that not only was he giving them a future and a hope he was also giving me a new future and a hope in my own life as well.
Now the men in my life, they don’t think like me, act like me or smell like me and because of that they are constantly challenging me to get out of my box and live life to the fullest. My husband is the perfect man for me – God knew I would need a man to pray for me to be seasoned in the Lord, a man who would not try to fix me but would allow God to do the fixing and a man who never let a day be boring – no we are on the ride of our life a daily walk in trusting the One who brought us together.
One of my sons has taught me to laugh at myself, helping me to get over myself and to let joy enter my heart and life. He is a quality time child and to sit and play with him brings him great delight, I am an acts of service kind of girl and so learning to speak his love language has made me die to myself and many of my “idealistic” expectations about priorities and the stack of dirty dishes in the sink – you see perfect to me means the dishes would never be there, but love to him says “forget the dishes for a minute and let’s play a game”. I have to set aside my list of to dos and love him today while I still have today with him.
Another son helps me to stop and smell the roses; his laid back personality reminds me that all of life is not a race and that sometimes taking a few extra minutes to enjoy the journey is as important as getting to my destination. My third son challenges me in every way – he wants to be big and then suddenly he wants to be little (big if his older siblings are getting to do something without him, little if he has to unload the dishwasher by himself) But don’t I do the same thing with God, “God today I am big and I can conquer the world, oh but that hurt so now I am little and need You to come help me pick up the mess I just made.”
Like I said, I have the perfect family, a perfect mess and perfect for me. Perfectly able to be used by God to shape me into becoming the person he wants for me to be – perfectly able to help me die to myself and learn to love outside my abilities and let Him love through me, and you know what? I am the perfect wife for my husband and the perfect mom for each of my kids as well, the one He called to instill into them some of my strengths, to help them with recognizing our weaknesses and letting Him be strong in us and the perfect wife & mom to love, pray and walk with them on this journey called Life. I bet you have the perfect family and you are the perfect one for them as well.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
The morning of May 8th, 2009 when I woke up I did not know what kind of day I was in for - However, this story begins on Jan 3 and leads up to today.
On Jan 3, Darrell went on his sabbatical and spent three days with the Lord, when he returned I left and spent three days alone with the Lord. Among the things he asked me to pray about one of them was about if we were to have another child. On my sabbatical the Lord woke me up in the middle of the night and told me I was going to be pregnant. Later in the day He told me I would be pregnant by April. So, I came home and told Darrell what the Lord had said, only to find out that God had told him there would be “No baby in 2009.”
We did not understand how these two words could be so diametrically opposed but they were – so we trusted God to sort it all out.
March 12th the Lord told me I had conceived, and by the end of the next week I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. We decided not to tell for a while and just let everything play out for a few weeks. We did tell the girls after about 2 weeks and they so patiently waited until we told family before they told their friends. On May 2, they talked me into telling our parents (I was waiting until Mother’s Day) and that day the news began to spread like wildfire. May 5th we posted on FB and they told all their school friends. I was 12 weeks pregnant – had already seen the midwife, everything was going along like normal.
After the busy tournament weekend April 30 – May 2nd, I began to spot but was not really worried as I had done that with Bailey as well. I told the Lord that if I miscarried then Darrell’s word about “no baby” was still not true, and mine was incomplete only telling me I was going to be pregnant by April.
My prenatal exam was scheduled for May 7th and we went in expecting to hear the heart beat, but with no heart beat found we decided to schedule a sonogram. The sonogram tech “just happened” to be in the office that day and he did have an available appt for later that day. I never hurt, I never cramped, and I never felt like I was “loosing” the baby. So, when we went in we did not know what we would find. The tech did the exam and toward the end he showed us the empty sac in my womb with “no baby” in it. I was pregnant by April and Darrell did hear God say, “No baby in ’09.” We do not know why this has happened or why God chose to play it out they way He did, but I do know that we both heard God, we both prophesied in part, God spoke and it happened – talk about the fear of the Lord.
I woke up this morning and my body began the cleansing process, if yesterday had not played out the way it had we would not have known that there was “no baby.” We did not miscarry; there was no baby to lose. However, I am still going through the postpartum hormonal stuff and ask you to forgive me if I am short with you, standoffish or just a little out of it. (I took 360 home instead of 183 thinking I had made my exit – only to have my kids wondering where on earth I was going!)
We have never experienced anything like this before, the loss is great and our hearts hurt from the hope that was deferred, but we all know that our God REDEEMS, HEALS & RESTORES! However that will look over time we will walk free of the pain and hurt and able to see His glory in this encounter.
We are going to spend the next few weeks retreating with the Lord, hibernating with our family and receiving some much needed rest and healing- this has taken a toll on us spiritually and emotionally. The one thing I do know is that God is a God of His word, He is faithful and true and NO MATTER WHAT – We choose to praise HIM!!
On Jan 3, Darrell went on his sabbatical and spent three days with the Lord, when he returned I left and spent three days alone with the Lord. Among the things he asked me to pray about one of them was about if we were to have another child. On my sabbatical the Lord woke me up in the middle of the night and told me I was going to be pregnant. Later in the day He told me I would be pregnant by April. So, I came home and told Darrell what the Lord had said, only to find out that God had told him there would be “No baby in 2009.”
We did not understand how these two words could be so diametrically opposed but they were – so we trusted God to sort it all out.
March 12th the Lord told me I had conceived, and by the end of the next week I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. We decided not to tell for a while and just let everything play out for a few weeks. We did tell the girls after about 2 weeks and they so patiently waited until we told family before they told their friends. On May 2, they talked me into telling our parents (I was waiting until Mother’s Day) and that day the news began to spread like wildfire. May 5th we posted on FB and they told all their school friends. I was 12 weeks pregnant – had already seen the midwife, everything was going along like normal.
After the busy tournament weekend April 30 – May 2nd, I began to spot but was not really worried as I had done that with Bailey as well. I told the Lord that if I miscarried then Darrell’s word about “no baby” was still not true, and mine was incomplete only telling me I was going to be pregnant by April.
My prenatal exam was scheduled for May 7th and we went in expecting to hear the heart beat, but with no heart beat found we decided to schedule a sonogram. The sonogram tech “just happened” to be in the office that day and he did have an available appt for later that day. I never hurt, I never cramped, and I never felt like I was “loosing” the baby. So, when we went in we did not know what we would find. The tech did the exam and toward the end he showed us the empty sac in my womb with “no baby” in it. I was pregnant by April and Darrell did hear God say, “No baby in ’09.” We do not know why this has happened or why God chose to play it out they way He did, but I do know that we both heard God, we both prophesied in part, God spoke and it happened – talk about the fear of the Lord.
I woke up this morning and my body began the cleansing process, if yesterday had not played out the way it had we would not have known that there was “no baby.” We did not miscarry; there was no baby to lose. However, I am still going through the postpartum hormonal stuff and ask you to forgive me if I am short with you, standoffish or just a little out of it. (I took 360 home instead of 183 thinking I had made my exit – only to have my kids wondering where on earth I was going!)
We have never experienced anything like this before, the loss is great and our hearts hurt from the hope that was deferred, but we all know that our God REDEEMS, HEALS & RESTORES! However that will look over time we will walk free of the pain and hurt and able to see His glory in this encounter.
We are going to spend the next few weeks retreating with the Lord, hibernating with our family and receiving some much needed rest and healing- this has taken a toll on us spiritually and emotionally. The one thing I do know is that God is a God of His word, He is faithful and true and NO MATTER WHAT – We choose to praise HIM!!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
God, Thank You for my friends!
I need to know God in a whole new way! What happens when everything I thought about God seems to be so untrue? When all the times I put my faith in Him for protection, for care and safe keeping and for discernment and guidance and then my world came crashing in around me? Is He the same God today as He was yesterday? According to the Word, YES!! According to my feelings, NO! So, who am I going to trust, the Word or my feelings?
Sometimes that is an easy answer, The WORD of course, but then there are those moments when all faith feels gone and I am relying on the faith of others to get me through the roof and into the presence of My Lord! It is now, today that I am once again very grateful for the faith, love and prayers of my friends and saints. When everything has crashed all around me, when my world seems so out of kilter and the fire just seems so hot that I am grateful for friends I know love and care about me; friends who would lay down their lives on the altar of prayer to see me through the dark times, the hard places and the moments of overwhelming despair. The cripple could not even crawl into the presence of the Lord, but the faith of four friends took him up and over the crowd then carved out a hole in the roof and lowered him down into the presence of the Lord.
Now that he was in His presence what was He going to do? Would he receive the word of the Lord? Would he know that his sins were forgiven? Would he take up his mat and walk? Now the choice was his, this moment in time he could no longer rely on the faith of his friends, now it was up to him, what would he do? Arise, take up his bed and walk! It was what his friends had prayed for, Jesus spoke, the man obeyed, he took up his bed and walked out of the presence of those who were still reasoning about sins being forgiven. But to the amazement of all, God was glorified and Jesus changed more than one life that day. So here I sit, knowing that my friends are praying for me to enter into the presence of the Lord and My Lord is saying to me, “Your sins are forgiven, take up your bed and walk.” Now the choice is up to me, do I believe the Word or my feelings? God today for the sake of my friends, for the sake of those who love me and because Jesus said the Word, I believe, please help my unbelief!
Sometimes that is an easy answer, The WORD of course, but then there are those moments when all faith feels gone and I am relying on the faith of others to get me through the roof and into the presence of My Lord! It is now, today that I am once again very grateful for the faith, love and prayers of my friends and saints. When everything has crashed all around me, when my world seems so out of kilter and the fire just seems so hot that I am grateful for friends I know love and care about me; friends who would lay down their lives on the altar of prayer to see me through the dark times, the hard places and the moments of overwhelming despair. The cripple could not even crawl into the presence of the Lord, but the faith of four friends took him up and over the crowd then carved out a hole in the roof and lowered him down into the presence of the Lord.
Now that he was in His presence what was He going to do? Would he receive the word of the Lord? Would he know that his sins were forgiven? Would he take up his mat and walk? Now the choice was his, this moment in time he could no longer rely on the faith of his friends, now it was up to him, what would he do? Arise, take up his bed and walk! It was what his friends had prayed for, Jesus spoke, the man obeyed, he took up his bed and walked out of the presence of those who were still reasoning about sins being forgiven. But to the amazement of all, God was glorified and Jesus changed more than one life that day. So here I sit, knowing that my friends are praying for me to enter into the presence of the Lord and My Lord is saying to me, “Your sins are forgiven, take up your bed and walk.” Now the choice is up to me, do I believe the Word or my feelings? God today for the sake of my friends, for the sake of those who love me and because Jesus said the Word, I believe, please help my unbelief!
Friday, September 5, 2008
Desire for Riches
1 Timothy 6
1 Let as many bondservants as are under the yoke count their own masters worthy of all honor, so that the name of God and His doctrine may not be blasphemed. 2 And those who have believing masters, let them not despise them because they are brethren, but rather serve them because those who are benefited are believers and beloved. Teach and exhort these things. Error and Greed 3 If anyone teaches otherwise and does not consent to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which accords with godliness, 4 he is proud, knowing nothing, but is obsessed with disputes and arguments over words, from which come envy, strife, reviling, evil suspicions, 5 useless wranglings[a] of men of corrupt minds and destitute of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain. From such withdraw yourself. 6 Now godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain[c] we can carry nothing out. 8 And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. 9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. The Good Confession 11 But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness. 12 Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses. 13 I urge you in the sight of God who gives life to all things, and before Christ Jesus who witnessed the good confession before Pontius Pilate, 14 that you keep this commandment without spot, blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ's appearing, 15 which He will manifest in His own time, He who is the blessed and only Potentate, the King of kings and Lord of lords, 16 who alone has immortality, dwelling in unapproachable light, whom no man has seen or can see, to whom be honor and everlasting power. Amen. Instructions to the Rich 17 Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty, nor to trust in uncertain riches but in the living God, who gives us richly all things to enjoy. 18 Let them do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to give, willing to share, 19 storing up for themselves a good foundation for the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life. Guard the Faith 20 O Timothy! Guard what was committed to your trust, avoiding the profane and idle babblings and contradictions of what is falsely called knowledge - 21 by professing it some have strayed concerning the faith. Grace be with you. Amen.
When I read this chapter today I came to the realization that my desire to be rich was taking me down a path of financial destruction. My family & I have been pierced through with many sorrows and are living under a heavy weight of financial bondage. The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil and the greatest evil is idolatry. To try to serve God and mammon is impossible. Paul exhorts Timothy to be content with food & clothes and to let godly contentment provide great gain in his life. I really took that to heart today. HELP ME!! Lord, I want to lay down my desire to be rich, uproot the love of money and be content with food and clothes (maybe they will be cute clothes!!! ) Thank you Lord for my daily bread and help me to seek you first and serving you only!!
1 Timothy 6
1 Let as many bondservants as are under the yoke count their own masters worthy of all honor, so that the name of God and His doctrine may not be blasphemed. 2 And those who have believing masters, let them not despise them because they are brethren, but rather serve them because those who are benefited are believers and beloved. Teach and exhort these things. Error and Greed 3 If anyone teaches otherwise and does not consent to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which accords with godliness, 4 he is proud, knowing nothing, but is obsessed with disputes and arguments over words, from which come envy, strife, reviling, evil suspicions, 5 useless wranglings[a] of men of corrupt minds and destitute of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain. From such withdraw yourself. 6 Now godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain[c] we can carry nothing out. 8 And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. 9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. The Good Confession 11 But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness. 12 Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses. 13 I urge you in the sight of God who gives life to all things, and before Christ Jesus who witnessed the good confession before Pontius Pilate, 14 that you keep this commandment without spot, blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ's appearing, 15 which He will manifest in His own time, He who is the blessed and only Potentate, the King of kings and Lord of lords, 16 who alone has immortality, dwelling in unapproachable light, whom no man has seen or can see, to whom be honor and everlasting power. Amen. Instructions to the Rich 17 Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty, nor to trust in uncertain riches but in the living God, who gives us richly all things to enjoy. 18 Let them do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to give, willing to share, 19 storing up for themselves a good foundation for the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life. Guard the Faith 20 O Timothy! Guard what was committed to your trust, avoiding the profane and idle babblings and contradictions of what is falsely called knowledge - 21 by professing it some have strayed concerning the faith. Grace be with you. Amen.
When I read this chapter today I came to the realization that my desire to be rich was taking me down a path of financial destruction. My family & I have been pierced through with many sorrows and are living under a heavy weight of financial bondage. The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil and the greatest evil is idolatry. To try to serve God and mammon is impossible. Paul exhorts Timothy to be content with food & clothes and to let godly contentment provide great gain in his life. I really took that to heart today. HELP ME!! Lord, I want to lay down my desire to be rich, uproot the love of money and be content with food and clothes (maybe they will be cute clothes!!! ) Thank you Lord for my daily bread and help me to seek you first and serving you only!!
Monday, May 12, 2008
Mother's Day 2008
Mother’s Day 2008
Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. Proverbs 31:28
Thank you Jesus for such amazing children!! The gifts I received this year were gifts of the heart and what a blessing to my soul. To watch my children shine for Jesus, to watch them pour out their love, to see them worship, pray and exalt His name. To watch them rise up to new challenges and face them humbly and with nobility. WOW!!
My morning started with breakfast in bed prepared by my husband and three sons. This was followed by a special drawing from Noah and a homemade card declaring that he loved me and that I rocked!! I wonder where he got that?! Isaac had been hiding his gift for me for weeks, a tile trivet with the initials M & I for mom and Isaac. Ethan drew me a picture of a sunflower and delivered it with a big kiss.
Then to top it off Bethany & Bailey wrote a song, submitted it to the Star-Telegram MomSong contest and were one of 7 finalist. They presented me with their DVD, their lyrics, the newspaper article and an Itunes gift card for being a finalist. We watched the DVD and then they performed the live version. They are awesome!! If I can figure out how to post it on my blog I will, but that may take a while!!
Bethany, Bailey & Isaac are auditioning for a CAIA production so we sat around and watched their auditions, laughed, helped, and laughed some more. Maw Maw and Honey came by to go to lunch with the boys and everyone prayed for Maw Maw’s broken arm. She had a sore where the temporary cast was rubbing, after we prayed she said the pain was gone!! GO GOD!!
The girls and I headed to the last Jesus Culture meeting and were so blessed with more amazing worship, a do or die message and anointed prayer. God gave me the sweetest vision as a mother’s day gift and lit my heart on fire!! We hurried to Isaac’s tournament ballgame and came in during the heart stopping, adrenalin rushing inning. Ahead by 8 the other team was soon tying the score. The 6th inning and minutes left to play ahead by three, two outs and the other team brought in two runs. They needed two more to win the game, two boys on base and the batter up. Could our boys make the out, would the batter get on base? Four balls and three of them foul, last pitch and the batter was OUT!! We won the game 21-20!! It was a great victory for our boys and so much fun for moms and dads. Nan and Honey were worn out after the game and went home to rest!!
I could not have asked for a better Mother’s Day. To see my kids walking in their gifts, to see them lead, create, love, worship, pray. It was the best way for God to pat me on the back and say, “Well done, my daughter, you are leading them well!!”
Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. Proverbs 31:28
Thank you Jesus for such amazing children!! The gifts I received this year were gifts of the heart and what a blessing to my soul. To watch my children shine for Jesus, to watch them pour out their love, to see them worship, pray and exalt His name. To watch them rise up to new challenges and face them humbly and with nobility. WOW!!
My morning started with breakfast in bed prepared by my husband and three sons. This was followed by a special drawing from Noah and a homemade card declaring that he loved me and that I rocked!! I wonder where he got that?! Isaac had been hiding his gift for me for weeks, a tile trivet with the initials M & I for mom and Isaac. Ethan drew me a picture of a sunflower and delivered it with a big kiss.
Then to top it off Bethany & Bailey wrote a song, submitted it to the Star-Telegram MomSong contest and were one of 7 finalist. They presented me with their DVD, their lyrics, the newspaper article and an Itunes gift card for being a finalist. We watched the DVD and then they performed the live version. They are awesome!! If I can figure out how to post it on my blog I will, but that may take a while!!
Bethany, Bailey & Isaac are auditioning for a CAIA production so we sat around and watched their auditions, laughed, helped, and laughed some more. Maw Maw and Honey came by to go to lunch with the boys and everyone prayed for Maw Maw’s broken arm. She had a sore where the temporary cast was rubbing, after we prayed she said the pain was gone!! GO GOD!!
The girls and I headed to the last Jesus Culture meeting and were so blessed with more amazing worship, a do or die message and anointed prayer. God gave me the sweetest vision as a mother’s day gift and lit my heart on fire!! We hurried to Isaac’s tournament ballgame and came in during the heart stopping, adrenalin rushing inning. Ahead by 8 the other team was soon tying the score. The 6th inning and minutes left to play ahead by three, two outs and the other team brought in two runs. They needed two more to win the game, two boys on base and the batter up. Could our boys make the out, would the batter get on base? Four balls and three of them foul, last pitch and the batter was OUT!! We won the game 21-20!! It was a great victory for our boys and so much fun for moms and dads. Nan and Honey were worn out after the game and went home to rest!!
I could not have asked for a better Mother’s Day. To see my kids walking in their gifts, to see them lead, create, love, worship, pray. It was the best way for God to pat me on the back and say, “Well done, my daughter, you are leading them well!!”
Sunday, May 11, 2008
JESUS CULTURE
JESUS CULTURE - Part 1
WOW!! What else can I say!! I guess I can say a lot. What a glorious four days!! Do I start with Thursday evening, or should I back up to Thursday morning? Okay, let me tell you about Starbucks. Thursday morning I was at Starbucks writing some notes for friends when a friend walked in with her son to meet with another friend of hers. We started talking and before you know it we were talking about the power of God, we were sharing glory stories and before to long we all had the glory of God shining through us. It was awesome!! I know God is up to something at that Starbucks because His glory is in that place!! I left knowing I had just had an encounter with the Holy Spirit and ready to walk with the Lord through the rest of my day.
Thursday evening Darrell, Bailey, Isaac and I went to the Jesus Culture launch. It was an amazing start with about 2 hours of unleashed worship. A Holy Spirit invasion!! It is amazing to me how passionate God is about us!! He so wants to invade us, to wrap Himself with our skin and truly live through us. It is like invasion of the body snatcher!! God is the ultimate body snatcher. On Thursday evening I had a taste, a sniff of the power of God. You know to really think about the fact that Jesus was a dead corpse laying on a piece of cold stone. No life surrounding Him, no warmth, just stale air, dirt and cold stone and then, the power of God!! WOW!! I really think God holds Himself at bay with us. If He were to truly unleash His power we would experience things like the transfiguration, the power of the resurrection and our youth renewed as death gives way to life. I am but a vessel for the Holy Spirit, a container for Him. I have been given the Spirit without measure and yet, I only experience a VERY small part of His glory in my life. It is no wonder the power of God knocks people off their feet!! God so touched me I felt His presence in the very core of my being. I could smell the anointing oil being poured out on me and the sweet fragrance of heaven, eventhough there was no physical annointing oil there. It was as if my senses were alive only to His Kingdom.
WOW!! What else can I say!! I guess I can say a lot. What a glorious four days!! Do I start with Thursday evening, or should I back up to Thursday morning? Okay, let me tell you about Starbucks. Thursday morning I was at Starbucks writing some notes for friends when a friend walked in with her son to meet with another friend of hers. We started talking and before you know it we were talking about the power of God, we were sharing glory stories and before to long we all had the glory of God shining through us. It was awesome!! I know God is up to something at that Starbucks because His glory is in that place!! I left knowing I had just had an encounter with the Holy Spirit and ready to walk with the Lord through the rest of my day.
Thursday evening Darrell, Bailey, Isaac and I went to the Jesus Culture launch. It was an amazing start with about 2 hours of unleashed worship. A Holy Spirit invasion!! It is amazing to me how passionate God is about us!! He so wants to invade us, to wrap Himself with our skin and truly live through us. It is like invasion of the body snatcher!! God is the ultimate body snatcher. On Thursday evening I had a taste, a sniff of the power of God. You know to really think about the fact that Jesus was a dead corpse laying on a piece of cold stone. No life surrounding Him, no warmth, just stale air, dirt and cold stone and then, the power of God!! WOW!! I really think God holds Himself at bay with us. If He were to truly unleash His power we would experience things like the transfiguration, the power of the resurrection and our youth renewed as death gives way to life. I am but a vessel for the Holy Spirit, a container for Him. I have been given the Spirit without measure and yet, I only experience a VERY small part of His glory in my life. It is no wonder the power of God knocks people off their feet!! God so touched me I felt His presence in the very core of my being. I could smell the anointing oil being poured out on me and the sweet fragrance of heaven, eventhough there was no physical annointing oil there. It was as if my senses were alive only to His Kingdom.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Yes God!
I grew up in a home with a swimming pool and concrete in the back and a tiny front yard. Therefore, mowing the grass took a total of 15 minutes and if I was in a hurry that included sweeping the sidewalk and drive. Needless to say, I did not enjoy yard work taking any longer than my allotted 15 minutes in the morning. After getting married and moving into our first home, a 900 sq foot house on 1/3 of an acre, mowing soon became a dreaded event, taking the good part of all day. Our second home was not much better having a terraced back yard. It was in this home that I heard God call me to gift my husband with a freshly mowed lawn when he returned home from work. Where I disliked yard work, he disliked it even more growing up on an acre lot he had the responsibility of doing weekly and alone. So marriage gave him the opportunity to have some help.
We had purchased a refurbished mower and it was in good working order, with one exception; there was a trick to starting it, a trick I did not know. After I heard my sweet Lord’s voice to go and mow the yard I argued for a good 15 minutes before I finally acquiesced. Putting on my yard clothes and heading to the garage I tried to get my attitude to one of submission and servant hood. I thought I had done a pretty good job of it until I spent 40 minutes trying to start the mower. Sweating, hot, grumpy and grumbling I was about ready to call a friend to come and start the mower for me. Many times I thought I could just go in the house and Darrell could mow when he returned home, but that would spoil the surprise and I would not be obeying. So, anger got the better of me. I told God if He wanted me to mow the lawn He needed to start the mower so I could do the job. I told Him it was not up to friend to get the mower started but HIM!! Guess what? The next pull it started. I am not advising you get angry at God if it gets hard, but passion brings a smile to His face.
I took a deep breath and started mowing, totally ignoring God, until I reached the terraced back yard. I turned to Him and asked, “God, what was that all about?” His reply to me resounded in my spirit and is a lasting impression in my heart to this day. He said, “Tomi, when I call you to something, it may not always be easy, it may be hard, it may be frustrating but I have called you and when you remain steadfast, passionate and pray I will make a way for you to accomplish what I asked of you.”
When God says, “Be still and know that I am God” then I am to be still and KNOW that He is God until HE tells me to move. “Wait upon the Lord and He will renew your strength,” can seem like an endless season. Yet, it is in the stillness and the waiting that we are renewed, we KNOW who our God is and we are able to walk and not grow weary, run and not faint and mount up on wings of Eagles. Lord, when the stillness is hard, teach me to KNOW You!! When the calling is confronted with obstacles teach me to trust, persevere and pray so that I may KNOW You and Your love for me. Put passion in my heart for You, Your ways and Your direction in my life. I want to live on fire for YOU.
We had purchased a refurbished mower and it was in good working order, with one exception; there was a trick to starting it, a trick I did not know. After I heard my sweet Lord’s voice to go and mow the yard I argued for a good 15 minutes before I finally acquiesced. Putting on my yard clothes and heading to the garage I tried to get my attitude to one of submission and servant hood. I thought I had done a pretty good job of it until I spent 40 minutes trying to start the mower. Sweating, hot, grumpy and grumbling I was about ready to call a friend to come and start the mower for me. Many times I thought I could just go in the house and Darrell could mow when he returned home, but that would spoil the surprise and I would not be obeying. So, anger got the better of me. I told God if He wanted me to mow the lawn He needed to start the mower so I could do the job. I told Him it was not up to friend to get the mower started but HIM!! Guess what? The next pull it started. I am not advising you get angry at God if it gets hard, but passion brings a smile to His face.
I took a deep breath and started mowing, totally ignoring God, until I reached the terraced back yard. I turned to Him and asked, “God, what was that all about?” His reply to me resounded in my spirit and is a lasting impression in my heart to this day. He said, “Tomi, when I call you to something, it may not always be easy, it may be hard, it may be frustrating but I have called you and when you remain steadfast, passionate and pray I will make a way for you to accomplish what I asked of you.”
When God says, “Be still and know that I am God” then I am to be still and KNOW that He is God until HE tells me to move. “Wait upon the Lord and He will renew your strength,” can seem like an endless season. Yet, it is in the stillness and the waiting that we are renewed, we KNOW who our God is and we are able to walk and not grow weary, run and not faint and mount up on wings of Eagles. Lord, when the stillness is hard, teach me to KNOW You!! When the calling is confronted with obstacles teach me to trust, persevere and pray so that I may KNOW You and Your love for me. Put passion in my heart for You, Your ways and Your direction in my life. I want to live on fire for YOU.
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