SUCH A LOVE!

This is Jesus in His glory,
King of heaven dying for me.
It is finished! He has done it.
Death is beaten,
Heaven beckons me!!
Such a love exists for me!!

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Today, I am known!!

O LORD, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, but behold, O LORD, You know it altogether. You have hedged me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain it. Psalm 139:1-6 (NKJV)

God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. I'm an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I'm never out of your sight. You know everything I'm going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and you're there, then up ahead and you're there, too— your reassuring presence, coming and going. This is too much, too wonderful— I can't take it all in! Psalm 139:1-6 (The Message)

To be known so intimately by the Creator of the universe, it overwhelms me. To be so loved and so adored, I can’t seem to take it all in. As a slave held in bondage, total darkness surrounded me, no hope for life or love. No way of escape from the task masters using whips and hatred to keep me in fear and despair. Suddenly, I am swept away in a current of love as my Rescuer lifts me out of the darkness and into His Light. My Savior, good, true, noble and just, covering me with His Love and releasing me from the shackles that bound me. Weeping turns to laughter, sorrow to joy and mourning to delight. Leaving the slave masters of Egypt and looking, hoping and waiting for the day I cross over into the Promised Land.

But alas, my Love knows that to enter now I would take with me the mindset, the fear, and the bondage of Egypt. So, I must trek through the wilderness, learning to rely on Him, His provision, His Love, His plans, and His ways. The journey seems unending, impossible and filled with tears, sorrow and pain. And yet, so begins a time of laughter, hope and change as it fills my life with His presence. The paradigm in my mind is beginning to change. I soon found I was learning to trust my new Master, trust His love, His ways and His direction. I began to understand I could trust Him to provide, to heal and to meet my need for comfort, love and acceptance. I found I too began to learn to love Him in return, to need to be in His presence and to give back honor, love, praise and passion. Soon the wilderness became a place of peace and solace; a place where I could recognize and see the Hand of God at work in the big and little areas of my life. The Promised Land was in view, was I ready to cross over? The question I was so sure was a resounding yes the moment I left Egypt did not sound so assured any longer. I knew I could not enter in my own strength or my own power and I was not about to go if He did not go with me. So I waited, and waited and waited. While waiting, my strength was renewed and my vision sharpened. He began to whisper, “prepare and consecrate yourself for in a few days you will cross over.” To be continued.....

Hearing the voice of the Lord

I am learning to love the many different ways God speaks to me. I used to think I had to get His word in my quiet time. If I did not hear Him when I had my Bible, journal and pen in hand then I did not hear the Lord. He has taken the time to truly expand my ability to hear Him and know when He is speaking to me no matter what method He is using.

I began to recognize Him in nature when I went on my HeartQuest. I had two of everything greet me on my fast day. He spoke to me all day in pairs and in twos. Even the rain came twice that day. He was giving me clues all day as to what He was speaking directly to my heart and double had great meaning that day.

Now, when I see something consistantly I see it as a sign post telling me I am on the right track. That Father is ordering my steps and I just passed the mile marker revealing where I am in my day. It is even becoming a game to see what He is going to show me next and how often He will open my eyes to see. For example, on my fast day I had two cardinals spend the day with me. Since then when I see a cardinal I stop and ponder for a moment God, His greatness and what He might be saying to me in that moment. Sometimes He says, "keep on keeping on," sometimes "I love you." The other day there were 3 cardinals in tha back yard and I heard the Lord say "increase". I have come to love nature, and the way Father uses His creation to confirm His word and works in my life. I wonder what He will be saying to me today?

Tears turn to delight

Yesterday as I was praying I felt led to put together a new schedule for me and the kids. Don't get me wrong as a homeschool mom I have put together many a schedule only for it to last a few days and then life gets in the way. I didn't really expect for the kids to be jumping for joy but I am not sure exactly what I expected. I sensed that this schedule was from the Lord and when I went to my kids with how it would work I was met with resistance, tears and anger. I was surprised. But then I started to realize I am the same way. Bring me something new that I don't understand, make it something I might need to work at and BAMM!! I am right in the middle of a melt down. (Maybe not externally but certainly internally.)

Well, this morning we all began our day on schedule. The kids jumped right into both their school and their chores. By lunch they were thrilled. Almost through with all their school work and almost done with chores they were going to have an abundance of free time in the afternoon. Now for a reader that is heaven, for a gaming fanatic that is bonus, for a diva that is more time to rehearse and for the little ones that means more time to play with brothers and sisters. Everyone was the winner.

At lunch the confessions began to flow. "I really couldn't imagine this being from God, but I guess it was," confessed my daughter. I love how God always has our best at heart, even when He asks us to do something hard and out of our comfort zone. I am thankful I am learning not to lean on my own understanding but I am trusting Him in all my ways.

New Day New Story

I feel like I am renewing my youth by starting a blog. I have never done this before. But, I think it will be fun!!

This morning the Lord had me up examining my heart and the things I do. Because you do what you believe. He really challenged me to determine today what I believe and begin to act on it. For example, if I believe that exercise is good for me then I need to make it a regular part of my life by having it be a regular part of my day. That is mild compared to the other things He had me examine.

It is amazing to me how we start out saying we believe but our actions never really line up with what we say. I have discovered that things I used to believe very strongly I no longer put into practice because of laziness, lack of desire or lack of belief. Heb 3:7 -" That is why the Holy Spirit says, 'Today when you hear His voice, don't harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled, when they tested me in the wilderness.'" The writer of Hebrew repeats this phrase 3 times in 2 chapters and he quoted it from Psalm 95. So, the God saw fit to declare 4x the phrase, "Today when you hear His voice, do not harden your heart." Sounds like it must be pretty important to me. Later in chapter 3 of Hebrews the writer asks the question, "And to whom was God speaking when he took an oath that they would never enter his rest? Wasn't it the people who disobeyed Him? So we see that because of their unbelief they were not able to enter His rest."

By not responding to the Lord in obedience they did not display their belief in Him. Ouch!! So, if I hear the voice of the Lord and harden my heart, my actions are both disobedience and unbelief and they will keep me from entering the rest of the Lord. No wonder the father cried out, "Lord, help my unbelief." It too is the cry of my heart. Father, help me do what I believe and help me through times of unbelief to the place where it can be said of me like Mary, "Blessed is she who believed, for there will be a fulfillment of those things which were told her from the Lord."